A N I Z W H I N E S

Thursday, June 19, 2008

HAHA! You silly pot-bellied, moustached, dark-skinned, middle-aged, ugly males!

If you're a girl like me, you'd know that sometimes there are males who would just STAAAAAAAAAAAARRREE at you (first your face, then your butt, then your face again, then your butt) up-front, without shyness or any attempt to stop staring even when you look at them.

Sometimes, this act of male chimps are followed by that squirting sound they do with their skin-diseased mouth and unkempt moutache which hangs lowly over their open mouth (Question: How do they eat soup?). And sometimes, a snicker is shared with another male chimp, if another male chimp happens to hang around.

HATE THAT!!!!

And I can almost, aaallllllmost guarantee that the males who do this staring exercise are pot-bellied, moustached, dark-skinned, middle-aged and ugly Malay males, who often wear tired-looking striped collared t-shirts (tak hensem langsung!). Arent' they all? [Where are their wives anyway?? And don't their wives have faces and butts?]

Usually when that happens, I would just look away and pretend like nothing's happening, then quickly leave.

But today, when this Pakguard at Court [Male Chimp Exhibit A] did that squirting sound thing (What? Did he think I would suddenly fall in love and run to him and feel his biceps?!?!? What??), I just looked at him for a loooooong time with clenched teeth and muka yang marah. His face changed and I can see him blush. Haha! Besssstt! That'll teach him not to squirt and stare at my sexy butt again!

[Tapi yang ni laaaaagi best!] And when this other guy at this Mamak restaurant [Male Chimp Exhibit B] happens to stare at me and snicker at his friend whilst doing so, I took one step towards him and asked him, "APA?". He stammered (STAMMERED! Ha!) and meekly answered, "T-t-takde pape". Huh! Memang padde muko mung yang hudduh dan budduh itu!

I don't know why I have this daring streak today. I'm so proud of myself! [pats self on own back]. Girls, we should do this everytime! Seeing ugly fugly males squirm will make you happy, believe me!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Monday, June 09, 2008

Murphy's Law - I am compelled by it, so it seems.

I was just about to leave for Seremban Court this morning and I woke up extra early just so I could be there at 8.30am (Court usually starts at 9.30).

Tried to start my car, and of course it wouldn't start. Luckily Ayah was around, so I got him to send me to Komuter. Reached Court at 10.15am but luckily my case was not thrown out by the YA cuz just as I sat in Court for 2 minutes, my case was called.

In the midst of that, my Ayah got Ah Twan the mechanic to come around to get the car started. Of course it did, on Ah Twan's first try. Hmm..

And another thing was accomplished after my attempt for ten years - weight gaining. Last Saturday, I finally FINALLY reached the ideal weight according to my BMI (since I failed to gain weight since I was 16, which also meant that I had failed to gain some hips along the way, I thought maybe I could shorten my height, just so I could reach the ideal BMI. That didn't work). So all my attempts all this while was finally successful last Saturday.

The only thing is, I already tempah my wedding dress. So Murphy, please, I cannot gain weight NOW! Not after all the money and time and worry I spent on it!

As the everwise Murphy always said: If anything can go wrong, it will.

My status perasaan: Agak Mangkuk.

Monday, June 09, 2008