Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Why do I feel so sad today?

Is it because I can't even spend 10 minutes to eat without my clients calling?
Then losing my appetite then and there, because I just had to do the thing they want me to do immediately? (I'm soooo hungry, until I don't even feel like eating anything. There goes my stomach lining again.)
Or is it because my savings is literally diminishing for my wedding?
Or the guilty feeling afterwards that I shouldn't berkira about spending my money for my wedding, since my parents have spent so so so much more? (And it is a once in a lifetime event, so I shouldn't be stressing on this, right?)
Or is it because the nature of my work (especially this current, really stupid project), that I'd be in such a black mood the very first second I wake up?
Or is it because I'm worried if I continue doing this project, I might not be able to get pregnant?
Or is it because I'm scared to drop this project that I would be seen as incompetent, even though it would affect my health so seriously?
Or is it because my boss just doesn't acknowledge that fact?
Or is it this stupid health issue I'm facing?

Maybe that's it.

 (Pray for this Nijoh. The doctor will decide tomorrow).

Tuesday, December 16, 2008



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aniz halimi
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