Tuesday, May 24, 2005
men and their egos! HAH! would u men juz let it go already?!?!
i am currently faced with a guy's ego as big as planet bulan!! does that make sense?? well, neither does this!
okay here's what happened:
1) i went out with mollie in november 2004 to meet his bf nizam for a buka puasa gathering.
2) nizam bought his friends, one of which was blur.
3) we chatted like biasa.
4) instantly didnt like blur cuz he took me and mollie's picture discreetly without telling us. i hate that!
5) went home.
6) 1 week later mollie told me that blur asked for my number
7) ..of which mollie absent-mindedly gave!
8) when she realized her mistake, she warned blur not to kacau me as i already have a boyfriend; my boyfriend is garang; and my boyfriend's badan is besar.
9) blur said okay.
9) blur called me anyway, many times.
10) at first i dropped little hints that i didnt want to talk to him (busy, tido, driving, etc).
11) then i dropped big hints (boyfriend saya marah, ayah saya tak suka, etc).
12) then, getting very very annoyed, i told him straight up, politely and gently, that i didnt like talking to ppl i dont really know and to please jangan call me anymore (when in actuality i juz wanted to tell him in a loud loud soprano voice "ek'elleh! muka macam kutu bantal nak romantik-romantik dengan aku plak! blah la jauh-jauh!")
13) reaching my wits end, i cooked up an idea that muhaimin were to call him, using my number and juz sternly say "sape ni? sape yang telefon numbor gelfren/anak saya ni?" (juz to make him associate a guy's voice to my number, to shake him up a little) (arent i a nice girl?)
14) of course muhaimin didnt want to do it.
15) of course i persuaded him all the time to do it.
16) then of course he did it. tapi orang tua tu pandai-pandai tambah skrip drama melayu petang-petang pulak...:
blur: hello?
min: sape ni?
blur: (silence)
min: sape ni?!
blur: (silence & chewing something. kropok kot)
min: kalau awek tu cakap taknak, jangan la kacau lagi! tak paham bahasa ke??
blur: [ibid]
min lagi la marah: oi! takde ***** ke??? jangan call dah!!!!
--toot--toot--toot--
i was squirming in my seat! i told min to stop early on, but of course min being a laki juz HAVE TO HAVE AN EGO TOO! kuku vs. ruas. groan!!!
17) blur's phone calls stopped.
18) blur pulak dengan bodonye told all his friends and he's the butt of all jokes, apparently.
[the story so far: blur's ego ballooned -- popped -- left him licking the wound that's left]
19) and mollie kena marah dengan blur. (pehal ko ha, blur?!)
20) now 2 months later since the incident, mollie told me (yesterday) that blur wants to confront me. (tetiba plak! 4 months later!??!? his grudge is riburiburiburibu kali ganda lagi BOSAR than his ego!)
20) since mollie, emma and i are going to the dewa concert this saturday, mollie is bringing nizam. and since nizam is bringing some of his friends, blur nak ikut. hmph!
21) but blur doesnt know that im going. so his friends tengah buat ayat to NOT make him go (arent they the nicest bunch? i dont even know these ppl)
22) the verdict: if he's going, IM NOT!
Conclusion: Im risking a good time at a rock concert juz for a stupid ego thing?? Juz for muka kutu bantal?? $%&#^#!#$!!!
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
growing up with kids where (i can safely say that) only 3 out of 250 students wear the tudung, i always thought that wearing tudung is juz something that kampung-minded ppl do. i looked down at kids my age who wear them. i wouldnt be caught dead wearing them! i prefer my skin-tight baby tees and baggy jeans (i was in the hip hop 'cult' for a loooong time)
then in form 4 i decided to try it out, juz in school. i removed my tudung at other times, including the pendidikan jasmani period and my saturday co-curriculum.
i remember the first day wearing it, i was laughed and pointed at. i guess they were shocked, because i was once subjected to vicious rumours that made ppl have this perception that i was 'wild'. (hell, ppl wrote "f*ck anis" on the toilet walls! haha! those were the days..).
so when i suddenly walked the school grounds with a piece of cloth over my head, my friends gave me the weirdest looks. the most famous statements were: "weh, (snicker!) apsal kau pakai tudung ni weh!?"; and "weh anis, bukak la!". even my then-bf told me to remove it.
their reaction made me feel like wearing it even more! and somehow, instead of succumbing to peer pressure, i felt this inner sense of serenity and power. no kidding!
so i wore tudung, despite the friendly reception of my society. anyway, i accept that as a 'padan muka' on my part, cuz i was one of them juz previous to that.
but i have to put it here, i dont wear tudung 100%. i mean, i still go to gigs and concerts without it. but thats because i wouldnt want to taint all the faithful tudung wearers by wearing tudung to a gig! (believe it or not, there are tudung wearers at gigs, tekinja-kinja bawah mosh pit! toksah la dek!).
and also mainly because i havent grown up fully yet despite my 22 years of being. there are juz some nice naughty things that im normal to that i cant let go.
judge me all u want but this is juz how this hanizah being works.
but in all honest to goodness, i do feel powerful wearing tudung. i feel that Allah thought that i was precious enough to be given the 'seruan' to (altho it seems that the seruan didnt work 100%); and that i feel safe and, weirdly, mysterious in it.
and that i dont have to confine myself in front of a mirror juz to tszuj (as queer eye's carson kressly puts it) my jambul according to the latest hair trends.
but above all, i like wearing it!
Monday, May 23, 2005
sometimes i feel blessed by it
other times i wish it never happened
sometimes i feel happy
other times i wish i could end it
sometimes i try my best
other times i juz want everything to stop
sometimes i feel confident by it
other times i wish it could be something else
sometimes i feel its the best decision i ever made
other times i regret having even thought about it
other times i wish it never happened
sometimes i feel happy
other times i wish i could end it
sometimes i try my best
other times i juz want everything to stop
sometimes i feel confident by it
other times i wish it could be something else
sometimes i feel its the best decision i ever made
other times i regret having even thought about it
but then again, like faith evans puts it in her song 'again':
if i had to do it all again,
i wouldnt take away the rain
cuz i know it made me who i am
if i had to do it all again
i learned so much from my mistake
thats how i know He's watching me
at the end of it all, i always have Allah to go home to. always.
i am so blessed =)
Monday, May 23, 2005
Saturday, May 21, 2005
- min and hanizah dah 3 tahun! best gile! rasa kejap gile! rasa tua gile! orang tua tu best gile!
- a terrible accident happened to a very close family member. someone banged into his car from behind, his car turned 360 degrees upside down and 180 degrees sideways, got to the other side of the road, stopping juz one foot short to hit a lamp-post. cant say who, confidential for the whole www to know. what i can say is, i told him, "nasib baik Allah kasi [that person's name] conscience to wear a seatbelt". friends, dont make me type out ur name individually here to persuade u to wear ur seatbelts. BE SMART!!!
- my exam results, sigh.. not as good as i wanted it to be. korang camane?
- been busy helping mak baking fruit cakes for my cousin abang jai's wedding. same day as kakak ana's wedding, so cant go. but my mom is making kek hantaran for kakak ana, so if any of u guys are getting married, tengok la kek dia nanti. if suka, bleh order (chewah, promo untuk mak aku). cheap! cheap!
- going to dewa's concert, hopefully!! yey yey!
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
orang suka tanya akuk buat apa cuti ni. akuk dah bosan nak jawab. jadi biar la akuk jawab kat blog ni for once and for all
akuk kerja jadi supir. akuk bawak keta hari-hari. hantar mak akuk dan adik akuk pegi kulu-kiler.
ok?
sigh..
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Friday, May 06, 2005
Teka Teki: Why is Britney shrieking?
a) She's looking in a mirror
b) Something, somewhere, is itching and burning
c) She found the greatest onesie for her future spawn that has "I'm Jailbait (But This Is An Old Jumper)" emblazoned on it.
d) She just caught sight of the wedding ring on her finger and has awoken to what she and her life have jointly become
e) She is realizing that she passed a dumpster on the way into the store without even stopping to dive in and see if anybody threw out any snacks, or perfectly good unbroken condoms that can be re-rolled for reuse.
f) Wouldn't you be, if you were Britney?
SNICKER!! fadhlin introduced this website to me http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/. I ABOSUTELY LOVE IT!! i juz have to paste it here and u peepes have to check it out!
come together now, all britney irritate-ees. may the force be with us..
Friday, May 06, 2005
